3 Months

My Precious Sister
October 14, 2008
Anger
October 22, 2008

3 Months

Today marks the 3rd month since I last talked to Pat in the emergency room before his cranial surgery.

Just writing that sentence has brought a flood of painful memories of my poor husband laying flatly strapped to an immobilizing spine board and in a neck brace. His puffy eyes opened when he heard my voice. To my relief, he recognized me, was able to kiss me, and told me he loved me.

He whispered, “I’m okay.”

God, I wish it were true!!

After Shane McGee’s sentencing, I fell into a hollowing, carving depression. My physical mind and body began deteriorating daily.

Today, so I can go on, I have put Pat’s memory consciously away from me. When the stabs of memory come, I force them away. I’m trying to pretend he’s away at school. That’s the only way for today.

4653 Comments

  1. hathomas says:

    i’m here. i’m listening. i love you!
    -hannah marie

  2. carolann19 says:

    I wish I were standing next to you to give you a big hug. I am here for you.

    Carol

  3. Angel40 says:

    My heart aches for you Nancy! Know that you are loved by many!

  4. Paul_Jenny says:

    I am so sorry Nancy. It hurts to know that you are still in so much pain. Know this, Pat loves you with all his heart. The fact that he overlooked all the pain he must have been in to reassure you, is yet another demonstration of how much he loved you. He wanted to protect you when he was the one who needed protecting. Use that love to heal. Embrace the selfless acts and demonstrations of his love. When I hear stories like the one you just shared, it makes me want to be stronger, to be a better person. Pat continues to be a profound role model for those open to the experience.
    Have peace in your heart. Pat loves you.

    Peace and respect,
    Paul & Jenny

  5. Pam Lawrence says:

    Nancy,

    I am so impressed by the love that flows through this site.

    You, your husband and your children seem to have this amazing spirit…it shines thorugh in your pictures.

    I would hug you if I could 🙂

  6. katie-skatie says:

    Hi aunt Nancy I just got an account. I hope that you have a great day.

    Love,
    Katie

  7. katie-skatie says:

    hi aunt nancy i am at school right now i just wanted to say hi