http://www.patrick.sawyersweb.com Memorial Site for Patrick Sawyer Thu, 18 Feb 2010 15:47:50 +0000 http://backend.userland.com/rss092 en My Patrick.  My dear, dear Patrick.  My forever mine Patrick. Why am I writing a letter to my dead husband?!!!  Dead--such a hard word to even use in connection with you, with us, with what we could have been, with what we wanted to be. DEAD.  My God!!  NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!! But YES. I told myself ... http://www.patrick.sawyersweb.com/?p=530 July 16, 2009 Nancy and I went for a walk in the woods this morning. We talked and grieved and remembered. A year ago today her life, my life, that of my family and the lives of some of my closest friends irrevocably changed. At 7:15 in the morning on ... http://www.patrick.sawyersweb.com/?p=526 One year.  One whole year!  We have come full circle.  We have experienced all the holidays, all the birthdays, all the seasons, all the newnesses that a full year can bring. All without Pat.  Patrick--my husband, our Papa, our uncle, our brother, our son, our friend, our mentor, our coach, our ... http://www.patrick.sawyersweb.com/?p=523 I'm slowly, agonizingly starting to accept that the physical Pat and the dynamics of our growing relationship are done.  The here and now with my Patrick is over.  We had a beginning and an end. But I am continuing.  And who I am now is forever immersed and entangled within the ... http://www.patrick.sawyersweb.com/?p=520 Happy birthday, Pat.  We miss you. http://www.patrick.sawyersweb.com/?p=517 Six months have passed since Pat died.  Half a year. How have I been living without him for so long?! The last month has been so up and down for me.  I tried to ignore the holidays, let them just slip by unnoticed while I hide out in my room.  Fortunately, my ... http://www.patrick.sawyersweb.com/?p=511 Today, my sister Mary took Daniel and me to the license bureau so Daniel could get his driver's education permit (yes, I am that old). The last time I was at the license bureau was this past August, a few weeks after Pat died.  I had to sign Pat off of ... http://www.patrick.sawyersweb.com/?p=500 11:54 p.m. Note to self: Next new winter widow I meet is going to get an electric blanket for her bed from me! Thanks, Mom. Pat was always so warm.  Piled-on blankets just don't do it for me. http://www.patrick.sawyersweb.com/?p=498 Look your last at all things lovely every hour.  ~Walter de la Mare I feel as though I've been to the depths of life and tasted its core.  Having been there, how do I now continue on with the inanities of living?  Having been there, have I discovered the answers to ... http://www.patrick.sawyersweb.com/?p=486 I've just spent 17 years working at my dream of being married and having a family.  It's funny--I spent all my young life planning for college, career, marriage, children.  I had specific goals, and looking back, I believe I accomplished them just as I had always envisioned. But, I never had ... http://www.patrick.sawyersweb.com/?p=482