I’m reading…

All of you wonderful readers,

I am reading your comments and emails.  I so feel your genuine concern.  I’m not alone, all of you are holding me up.  My mother and sisters are my tangible lifeline.  They’re setting up grief counseling for me and the kids.

I am aware of the stages or cycles of grieving and I know there’s no way around them.  I’m just blown away by the pure intensity and “newness” of the pain each day.  It’s not like a general depression; each day, each minute unfolds a deeper pain or a shockingly new variation on the pain.

It still hurts to allow memories of Pat to come to my mind, yet I know that there will be a time when I will want to savor every vestige of his physical being.

As my new friend Jay says:

There are no detours through grief.



This Post Has 2,229 Comments

  1. Angel Konkey


    I check this site almost every day, hoping and praying that you are making it through the pain. I know that you all have a long journey of healing ahead of you. This tragedy should be a reminder to all of us to savor every moment.

    On a happy note,I saw Daniel’s name in the paper for his success in the Niles Triathlon. I never read the tiny print in the Sports section of the paper, but for some reason, it just jumped out at me. I know you must be very proud of him and for him; he is carrying on the values that you and Pat have instilled in him.

  2. Regina Fink

    Hi, Nancy,

    I’m writing to add another note to the many you receive, not because I have anything insightful to say, but just so you’ll be reminded of how many people are keeping you and your family in their thoughts and prayers.

    I’m so sorry you have to go on this journey, but you’re doing everything more than right — for yourself, your kids and the larger community! Your efforts regarding bike and road safety are helping others, but the memories of Pat continue to enrich others’ lives in more basic ways.

    In addition to highlighting Pat’s many interests and efforts, your site reminds me to enjoy the pure fun of life on this earth. I barely knew Pat, but I thought of Pat this week and it dawned on me that I’ve been kayaking only once this summer and haven’t biked for weeks. I’m meeting a friend for biking tomorrow — on the bike path, where there are no cars! — and I’m making plans to kayak with another. I’m going to enjoy moving my body in Pat’s honor.


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