Mostly, it is too painful to even look at pictures of Patrick. My wounds are so raw, and each healthy, vibrant picture I see is a new knife *stabbing* my heart, making me want to scream out that it just cannot be true!
I have this picture, though, that I like a lot. I was never as athletic as Patrick. He was always pushing me to join him in all his athletic activities–my engagement ring was a scuba diving equipment for the both of us (that didn’t last too long–I got a ring), my first birthday gift was two baseball mitts so we could play catch together. He was always encouraging me saying, “I need you healthy so you can grow old with me.”
This picture shows our tandem bicycle with our daughter in the trailer. Instead of getting me to ride my own bike, he pulled me on the tandem (I had always been afraid of bikes since I had a head injury in the 8th grade from falling from a bike). In this picture he’s wearing his paddling, floatable Tilley Hat that characterizes him so, his eternal “Paddlefest” t-shirt, and a brace around his elbow for an injury that forced him from bricklaying and into nursing school.
Pat kept me going. Family and friends are keeping me going now. Please don’t stop!