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I’m slowly, agonizingly starting to accept that the physical Pat and the dynamics of our growing relationship are done.  The here and now with my Patrick is over.  We had a beginning and an end.

But I am continuing.  And who I am now is forever immersed and entangled within the soul of my relationship with Pat.  Does this make any sense?  I am a new me, forever changed.  I will continue on.  Changing.  But always touched and influenced by Pat.

Carol King’s Now and Forever speaks to me deeply and helps me place Pat in my life now:

Now and forever, you are a part of me
And the memory cuts like a knife
Didn’t we find the ecstasy, didn’t we share the daylight
When you walked into my life

Now and forever, I’ll remember
All the promises still unbroken
And think about all the words between us
That never needed to be spoken

We had a moment, just one moment
That will last beyond a dream, beyond a lifetime
We are the lucky ones
Some people never get to do all we got to do
Now and forever, I will always think of you

Didn’t we come together, didn’t we live together
Didn’t we cry together
Didn’t we play together, didn’t we love together
And together we make up the world

I miss the tears, I miss the laughter
I miss the day we met and all that followed after
Sometimes I wish I could always be with you
The way we used to do

Now and forever, I will always think of you
Now and forever, I will always be with you