Remembering Pat

Hi everyone,

This is Mary, Nancy’s sister.  Nancy has gone for a couple of days to spend some time at a lakeside house with our brother Joe and his family in Michigan.   I just talked to her and she and the kids are having a nice time.  It’s good that she was able to get out of the house for a little while.

However, as expected, everything she does of course, reminds her of Pat.  Last time they were at the beach was when our whole big extended family spent a week at a vacation house not too far away from where Nancy and Joe are now.   That was the time Pat and Danny and my son Teddy had their “Navy Seals Workout” on the beach (click to enlarge):

Patrick, Daniel, Teddy doing push-ups
Patrick, Daniel, Teddy doing push-ups
Ab Crunches
Refreshing plunge in Lake Michigan
Refreshing plunge in Lake Michigan

They had so much fun that day, and being at the beach now is very bittersweet for her.

This weekend, in Bristol, IN they are having the Canoe & Kayak Nationals event – Pat and Nancy were supposed to have raced together in a tandem kayak.  Nancy and Pat were so looking forward to finally being in a race together.  They were looking forward to SO many things —  Pat finishing nursing school, getting a job, possibly soon looking for a place of their own, maybe doing some travel nursing and taking their family across the whole country.   All of those plans came to a literal screeching halt 3 weeks ago.

I honestly canNOT believe it has been THREE WEEKS since Pat’s accident already.  On the one hand, it seems like he was JUST here yesterday, and on the other hand, it already seems like years have passed because we miss him so desperately.

We love Pat so very much and miss him every single minute of the day.

If anyone has time, we would greatly appreciate if you could keep posting on the blog – we want to hear how all of YOU are handling missing Pat, and we would also cherish any memories you have to share about Pat.

Check out Nancy’s recent postings, links in upper left-hand column, that she titled “Continuing” and “Common Circle” and please feel free to share any of your thoughts, feelings, memories.   It helps us tremendously just to hear any word from those of you who also love and miss Pat.

We have been so blindsided by the horrible tragedy of Carston’s death (link to his site), and it makes our grief tenfold.  We all, and especially Nancy, Amy and Mike, still need your support and words of encouragement and remembrance.  Thank you all so much for being there for all of us.

This Post Has 3 Comments

  1. dawsyw3

    Hi Mary ,Nancy and children,
    I did not know Patrick but have followed the story from start to the bitter ending. I am from south Bend Indiana and now live in Davisburg Michigan. I read the hometown paper on line daily.Patricks story caught my eye as my brother has a love for kayaking . Not sure if he knew about Patrick or not. I have not talked to him since this has happened. We all lived in South Bend for about 50 years. I am so hoping Nancy keeps this website going for years as would like to be with her and the children to see how they do . I lost a husband also . We were only married a year and 8 months to the day he passed. His was Lukemia but it still is not easy and that has been 24 years ago. Anyhow my heart goes out to the family and many prayers also.

  2. Morgen Silver

    Our hearts and prayers go out to you on your loss. I know it is so hard for you all and we are praying for you.

    In response to your writing about your childrens questions as to losing their dad I hope they will take comfort in knowing there dad lives on in them..not only because parts of him through his genetic code always remains, but because of the wisdom he gave to them seen only through his special way of seeing things. Those teachings will always go with your children..and you. Perhaps you will learn to see him in your own special ways.

    Death is a transition for you all. ..even for Patrick. It will lead to transformations for every one of you. We wish you the strength and love to lean on one another as you go on to pursue the many dreams that Patrick would wantfor you all. to pursue. Take time to grieve but remember to live.
    He has given you such a great gift. A foundation and apparently a strong one at that, for which to build your dreams. Please let us know if you need anything,
    We are praying for you,
    Morgen Silver and family

  3. Angel Konkey

    Dear Nancy,

    I am a friend of your sister, Mary Meck. In fact, her son Ted has been one of my son’s best friends for many years now. Although we have never met, I got to know Pat just a little a couple of years ago while your dad was hospitalized in Arkansas. While you and Mary were staying by the side of your ailing dad, Pat was parenting Ted when he stayed with us for a couple of weeks. Although I only saw a glimpse of your life together, Pat made quite an impression on me. It was clear to me how much he was dedicated and committed to you and your children, and your extended family.
    I have always had a special place in my heart for your nephews, Ted and Jimmy, and your sister, Mary. I too suddenly lost my father at the age of 8, like Laura. I have a sense of understanding of your children’s loss and grief. I do know that there will come a day when happiness will outweigh sadness, although it may take a long time. Many people told me stories about my father while I was growing up, even through high school. Those stories helped keep him “present” to me and also revealed parts of him that I never got to know. I know that you have so many family members and friends who will be able to give this gift to your children as well.
    I read this site many times a week, as I know so many others do. It inspires me to try to be an even better wife, parent, steward of the earth, listener, comforter, etc. Please keep this site going; we are reading; we are out here . . . praying for you and grieving with you.

    Angel Konkey

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