The last few weeks I have been in a searching mode. I’m vulnerable. I’m open to all new thoughts, beliefs, ideas, awarenesses. I plead for direct, absolute, indisputable answers, although I know this grief journey will only lead me back to the ambiguity of life.
Lyrical messages, natural metaphors, dreams, coincidences, and signs abound teasingly. Teasingly, because the messages come to me strongly, yet my mind grapples with them until they’re virtually neutralized. Grief has opened my soul rawly to the world, nature, love, and the abyss of unknowing.
I have been changed–I am changing. I feel as though I’m in a cocoon–I don’t know what I’ll become, though. I had no idea the severity of pain metamorphosis endures.
Our pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding.
The shell is still breaking.