Hi, I’m Tommy Sawyer. My papa is Patrick Sawyer. I’m ten years old. What I remember was how Papa always bandaged me up from all my scratches and mosquito bites. But now that I just got a bunch of mosquito bites all over my neck, I had to bandage them up all by myself, which I don’t usually do.
What else I was thinking about was about his ashes and how we’ll probably put them in the St. Joe River and try to find some other place for them. The ashes were his body, so it’s a way for his body (the ashes) and his soul to connect with the river’s spirit and the river (which is the river’s body). The river and Papa are together, yet still with us.
The note that I put in Papa’s casket right before they closed it showed a picture of the river with a boat on it and it said, “I wish you could have kept your body.” The boat had a question mark in it because the river would miss Papa going out on it all the time.
I’m really glad that Papa is with me for always and I don’t have to speak out loud, I just have to think to speak to him, and I pretty much know what his answer is.
I also got my long hair cut short just like Papa’s right before the funeral services. I really liked my hair long, but everyone wanted it shorter. I decided to cut it as a sacrifice for Papa and so I’d look just like him. But, when I went to the funeral home, I saw boy pictures of him at my age and he had long hair. Then, I felt like my hair was just like his when he was in the coffin, and once I caught myself looking for a crack in my own head.
It’s really nice that all of you are trying to help me through this. I think it really helps.