Thoughts

Happy birthday, Pat.  We miss you. ...

I’m slowly, agonizingly starting to accept that the physical Pat and the dynamics of our growing relationship are done.  The here and now with my Patrick is over.  We had a beginning and an end. But I am continuing.  And who I am now is forever immersed and entangled within the soul of my relationship ...

One year.  One whole year!  We have come full circle.  We have experienced all the holidays, all the birthdays, all the seasons, all the newnesses that a full year can bring. All without Pat.  Patrick–my husband, our Papa, our uncle, our brother, our son, our friend, our mentor, our coach, our classmate, our coworker, our ...

July 16, 2009 Nancy and I went for a walk in the woods this morning. We talked and grieved and remembered. A year ago today her life, my life, that of my family and the lives of some of my closest friends irrevocably changed. At 7:15 in the morning on July 16, 2008 I received ...

My Patrick.  My dear, dear Patrick.  My forever mine Patrick. Why am I writing a letter to my dead husband?!!!  Dead–such a hard word to even use in connection with you, with us, with what we could have been, with what we wanted to be. DEAD.  My God!!  NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!! But YES. I told myself after ...

These are the words to a speech I gave at the First Unitarian Church in South Bend.  My sister Julie also videotaped the speech, and it can be found on YouTube in 3 parts. My children and I were dealt a major, devastating blow to our lives on July 16, 2008—a blow that has and ...

Oh, Papa.  What has happened since you’ve died! Sigh. It’s hard to say.  You died. Okay.  Well, a lot has happened. I turned 8, I turned 9, and my tenth birthday is almost coming up.  We moved into a new house.  We got a new puppy.  I’m not scared of Uncle Chris anymore!  Actually, I ...

Here is a video I created several months ago–still pictures put to U2’s version of “Unchained Melody”.  This song was the music that was put to our official wedding video. ...

I sent Danny away to college in Massachusetts this past August. It was a painful, bittersweet milestone; one that I rationally accepted as inevitable, yet emotionally had difficulty accepting without my partner in raising him for this moment. I created several video slideshows for Danny. Here’s one in honor of Danny and his relationship with ...